What if I had Narcissistic personality disorder NPD
because it is like me
I never can feel I am be loved or wanted
Nobody would want someone like me
But I think me is good and worth creature who is deserve to treated good too
But I really never felt I am really liked by somebody or accepted by somebody in my life
Because I don't have like that experiences in the real world
But on the internet its easy they can tell like that things, they like me, accepted me, i like how you are and so on
But they don't know real me
So I think i never can feel me is accepted forever if I cannot meet with a person in the real world
but so scary too
Because what if I am rejected by a person who I believe and meet and that person started to vomit in front of me or see that person's bad face that I am disgusting the person
I would get tons of shock and I never can meet to anybody again more
So I want to meet with only my person
But My person is totally like god level to me
Like not exist level
Even if I want and need, that person is not there for me
It makes me very sad
But I love my person in me already
It might be creepy
Because it is same thing like I am fall in love with my imagination
Very ideal
Very ideal world and very ideal person
So there is no reason I cannot love the person and the world which is in my head
This real world is very cold and scares me a lot