Oblivious Type and Hypervigilant Type
I am Hypervigilant type
i never want to be standing out in anywhere
i would get scared if i have 100 comments on my youtube video suddenly too i will delete the account and want to run
i never can feel happy by those
I want to have an attention from only my person deeply
I don't want to be animal of zoo to other meaningless humans
They just mock me and laughing me and make me feel wants to disappear
and steal my places from this world
I never can be like Hitler
He can speech in front of many humans like that
and many saying bad things about him too
but he does not mind about it or can ignore pretty well and keep speeching
if there was one person who staring at me with so scary eye balls i would want to run so very soon
i don't want to care about others
but what others would think about me scares me and hurt me sometimes a lot
i feel shame a lot so soon too
i feel very shy soon
if i do mistake i feel so shame too
i have high pride i think
but i try to hide the shame with a smile i think
but very very shy in me and not want to have like that experience
because its not a good feel to be shame in front of a human
if someone correct me something i feel that person telling me me is an idiot
i know how i think those is strange and bad
but i feel those way a lot
so not want to hear or listen to anybody
also not need any advice and want to do whatever i want
then i am very alone
i can do anything i want without care about anybody
it is a good thing i think
but just too lonely most of the time
but if i have to listen to such boring noisy lectures from others, i will choose to be alone even if i feel lonely
because i need to protect myself
i don't like humans who'll say something
about me
for example drawings too
Like if you learn more about art, you can be a good artist
I would feel bad to hear such thing
Because I think not learn and draw is the best thing in me
I know my drawings aren't good for many others, and have no good shape or lines for those humans who learned those things a lot in those places
But to me, they are all robots who can do same thing with others, who can draw same thing, who learn same thing and do same thing with those humans
I am proud about myself that I didn't listen to those art lessons at all and didn't try hard to learn something
About many other study subjects too
I had to feel shame a lot that I cannot do study
But I thought why do I have to study such boring thing which I am not interested in at all and not fun to listen to
And I cannot understand what they are saying too
It is because me is an idiot?
I didn't learn so much things from anybody because I am someone who wouldn't listen to
But I listen to in me
Just while thinking like "ah noisy what is this guys"
They all think they are teaching right thing or like that
But They are the one who should understand everyone is different and i have my own rules and right and wrong
So it is meaningless to have a lecture from those humans
Now I am proud of myself that I don't know anything so much more than those humans who learned something a lot in the school and those social world place
I always lived in my head and have my own world
so i mean
I don't like that if someone says if i do something it would be better or like that
about my creations
Everything is good to me
I like my creations even if others would think those are trashes
And I want others to like their creations too
And not have to learn anything from anything
if they want to create something from themselves
Why they like same thing
I am tired to see same face animation characters too
what happened to now
all same
it is very a sad thing
there is nothing original but copycpycopucpaoujkeawljfe
because they think it is a good thing in them and many likes the same
what a boring
i like old animation illustrations more so i don't like new animations
such thing which is for gross guys who just wants to see same face girls
i am very very sad
how those animation turn into such things
because animations were very good things before
when i was little
also the old animations too
but for now, for those new humans
maybe they cannot understand the good
because they love same
but yes there is still good animations
i liked this animation illustration a lot so i watched some episodes
now i noticed their face is like animal crossing character's face
Ο・｀)π
but simply i am angry at the gross japanese new animations i think
there is still good animations like this even if they are new
japan is rotten really
not want them to be like that
i feel sad to see
not need any gross animations
i want good animations
i want someone to make good peace animations for kiddos too
cute and peaceful world
not need any erotic thing in there
it disgusting me
but more disgusting is the humans who loves those and smiling at those
those males are so disgusting
because they like those cute girl characters with so dirty mind
i don't feel bad girls like those cute girl characters
just males are gross because of the dirty mind
and never can watch those without those minds
and make those word into a dirty world soon
they are very insulting to the characters
i want to live in another world where no those humans
and where not like that contents in this world
im not sure what i was talking about and i am talking about this now
but i just feel bad to those humans even if i can understand the reasons why they like those things
i hope they can live in another world with those animation characters
it is their want too
maybe same with the thing i want to live only with my person
because there is not that person yet for me but i am thinking about the person
but i think about the person with warmwarm heart and mind
because that person let me feel those from the heart and i can imagine i am very happy
