....

I had a dream...

There was the person 

We we're in counterstalker world

Because he likes it

That he was very cold

There was many monsters 

And before the stage starts 

I was around the monsters 

Those monsters scared me so much 

It was very scary to be around the monsters

Because when the count down end and if it starts it means they will attack me

They seemed want to eat me 

It was very scary 

So I run and run and run 

Then I think he came to me 

But it was not him

Someone just passed me

He didn't care about me 

He wearing the lion suits 

That rainbow six lion 

It was him 

In the counterstalker dream

Because he used lion 

And he was lion san in me 

He never come to help me 

I think he just kept playing 

And then I went to somewhere many humans were there

There was the girls who bullied me in the school and scared me 

There was an ice cream shop and they were buying those it seemed

I actually wanted to have one

But there was them and couldn't get and it seemed a sweets place

There was one person who didn't scare me 

Like she knows me is scared 

So she just looked at me 

But she had a kind face to me and didn't scare me like others 

But I ran from there soon 

Because I was enough scared to see them

And went to the downstairs used the escalator

And then there was 100 yen shop

And I found something which has a hole cotton 

It means somebody destroyed the bag so there was a little hole on the bag 

I told them there is like this thing 

And then that person started to talk how sad about it 

She always clean the things and put those things in the shop but always there is someone like that who'd do such things and she cannot sell those 

It seems she was my cousin mom or somebody from tv show that I know

And she showed me lion San doll and said 

Cute right?

And I told her

I don't like lion San 

Because it was him in me

And then I picked up something mouse doll and said this is better

There was two shop person and they talked to me 

Like that dream I had 

Now

I didn't want to sleep but again slept on the chair

And had like this scary sad dream

All because he came and talked to me and made me feel bad today 

This is why I always told never come again to me

He only hurts me 

He only makes my feel lonely and lonely

With the way how he is

Because he comes to me even if he cannot help me 

He cannot give me what I want and need

And I would want and need if he comes to me 

But he cannot 

Because he is not my person 

But I always wanted those care from him a lot when we were together

But no more

I understand I cannot have 

So I am pushing him away 

Because after all he will leave me alone 

This is why I had like this dream

Such a lonely dream

I want him to be happy 

Just not want him to tell anything about him anymore to me 

I am tired to worry about a lot each time too

Because he scared me a lot before

Like he would die and so on

But I am so tired 

I Believe he won't 

And I do really not wish him to do anything bad to him

And not try to close to me never again 

I will only hurt him

I hurt him a lot I think what I said in the last

But he really cannot understand my feelings and he will tell me I cannot understand how feelings

We are really not get along well

Everyone can sees it

And maybe would tell me me is bad 

And it is

So not want to hurt anymore and have any hope on him never again 

I hate he come and leave me alone and come sometimes and leave me alone and never let me forget

After told me forget about me and just go find your happiness

Be happy with your person 

And what he is doing is not like that

I have many mixed feelings 

But I want him to be happy 

Just not want to know anymore anything 

And not make me hurt him over and over again 

I don't want tove anger feelings 

Always i had when I talked with him

But with anybody is true

Nothing is better than have something a bit for me

And I know he never can be happy if he does it 

And be like that to me

I couldn't like about him how he wanted like about him

But I am too possessive

That's why I never can be friends with ex

It's normal I think 

It's crazy 

How can be friends with ex

And what my person would think 

If I be friends with ex

I cannot be friends with someone who had feelings to 

But I don't know what is friends 

Really not need friends too

I want is my person for myself and it's someone who is my ideal person 

I don't want him to be like that after told me I can leave from him x 4629477 and go find another too

He could easily let me go 

There is no persmission to keep connecting with me 

And tell me he cares about me or like that 

He only hurts me

I want to disappear to the place where nobody knows