I want my person to study Yunglish
I can teach you
But I will make a note
I posted almost 1000 posts just in August
It means this month was a terrible month for me
Which I had to talk alone so much
Writing here alone a lot means terrible
It means there is nobody who I can talk to
That's why I talk a lot here alone
But maybe I just posted too much shixts this month
But always talk alone is better than writing a text to meaningless creatures
save my words on here is meaningful thing for me more than giving a word to meaningless creatures
All for my person
You'll know about me a lot someday
In many way
I want you to accept me how me is
I don't want to hide and write a lot
When I am very honest, When I am not so honest, When I am very angry, When I am smiling, when I am sad, When I am happy, When I am unhappy, When I feel lonely, when I feel sleepy, When I feel anxiety, When I am scared, When I am
Many me there
But all me
All posts are by me
I have to keep doing this for my person
And learning this language more too
I don't know where my person comes from
English is the common language
If I could use this language more well, I know my world would be more wide
And not have to stay in a small box
If my person was Japanese, we could talk in Japanese
but I don't use the language for so long time, I mean writing
But sometimes searching in the language
but mostly about how to say it in english
so maybe my writing would be strange
and also in the real world somehow English came to my head first and say something english to mom often and forgot how to say it in Japanese
I sometimes cannot like English
But I still like the language and want to know
I don't try to improving my English at all tell the honest
not sure maybe I do?
just not study at all and not try to remember something so hard
because maybe I know already somewhat basic English?
not sure if I am talking in a good way or bad way
I am just talking Yunglish
but I like to learn something about English
reading about how to say it in english or how to use the word and so on
It is still interesting thing for me
So english is a good thing
maybe my hobby
but talk with a native English speaker would make me poop
but i will never talk with such a meanie native english speaker
especially who does not know any other languages and being meanie to those none native english speakers
because they tend to think they are the king and if we cannot talk very well to them, they will mock those humans
and if it was someone who even cannot talk any other languages, it is terrible thing
Because they should understand how difficult to use another language and try to explain in another language
it is very difficult for me to explain a lot of things still
I cannot say what I want to say in English
I search how to say over and over again and remember those sentence and try to use those
but i know my english is still broken a lot and hard to understand for those humans
but maybe better than some years ago
not sure maybe not changed at all
but at least better than 5 years ago or like that
I couldn't write so much in this language before too
I want to write what I think and feel more well
And explain what happened to me too
I really cannot do it..
but maybe if they could think me is just a tazan who lives in jungle maybe they could understand my english
eat grape tasty
grape want more
eat chocolate back ouch
me fat
runrunrun burn meat i need
maybe they could understand even if i talk like this way in the fact
Japanese grammar and English grammar is so different
so i have to have perfectly English brain
If I try to translate from Japanese, it would be very strange thing more
I needed to remember sentences and make the English brain
So even if I have to translate Japanese to English, it is a difficult thing for me
And I cannot do those works on the internet
I have no that skill
It was good If i could do those
Then I could have the job
I cannot translate it well really
Because I think in English when I write in English and there is no Japanese in my head when I am using English
only when i cannot find the word in english, japanese came to me and wonder how to say it in english
and search about it and input and delete japanese sentence or words from the brain
I need to learn about "have" more
It is very difficult for me to use the word "have"
I have been playing hotline miami
I am playing hotline miami since some days ago
i think both sentences would tell you I play the game for some long time or days
A point to B point
maybe
not sure..
puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
π©
It means this month was a terrible month for me
Which I had to talk alone so much
Writing here alone a lot means terrible
It means there is nobody who I can talk to
That's why I talk a lot here alone
But maybe I just posted too much shixts this month
But always talk alone is better than writing a text to meaningless creatures
save my words on here is meaningful thing for me more than giving a word to meaningless creatures
All for my person
You'll know about me a lot someday
In many way
I want you to accept me how me is
I don't want to hide and write a lot
When I am very honest, When I am not so honest, When I am very angry, When I am smiling, when I am sad, When I am happy, When I am unhappy, When I feel lonely, when I feel sleepy, When I feel anxiety, When I am scared, When I am
Many me there
But all me
All posts are by me
I have to keep doing this for my person
And learning this language more too
I don't know where my person comes from
English is the common language
If I could use this language more well, I know my world would be more wide
And not have to stay in a small box
If my person was Japanese, we could talk in Japanese
but I don't use the language for so long time, I mean writing
But sometimes searching in the language
but mostly about how to say it in english
so maybe my writing would be strange
and also in the real world somehow English came to my head first and say something english to mom often and forgot how to say it in Japanese
I sometimes cannot like English
But I still like the language and want to know
I don't try to improving my English at all tell the honest
not sure maybe I do?
just not study at all and not try to remember something so hard
because maybe I know already somewhat basic English?
not sure if I am talking in a good way or bad way
I am just talking Yunglish
but I like to learn something about English
reading about how to say it in english or how to use the word and so on
It is still interesting thing for me
So english is a good thing
maybe my hobby
but talk with a native English speaker would make me poop
but i will never talk with such a meanie native english speaker
especially who does not know any other languages and being meanie to those none native english speakers
because they tend to think they are the king and if we cannot talk very well to them, they will mock those humans
and if it was someone who even cannot talk any other languages, it is terrible thing
Because they should understand how difficult to use another language and try to explain in another language
it is very difficult for me to explain a lot of things still
I cannot say what I want to say in English
I search how to say over and over again and remember those sentence and try to use those
but i know my english is still broken a lot and hard to understand for those humans
but maybe better than some years ago
not sure maybe not changed at all
but at least better than 5 years ago or like that
I couldn't write so much in this language before too
I want to write what I think and feel more well
And explain what happened to me too
I really cannot do it..
but maybe if they could think me is just a tazan who lives in jungle maybe they could understand my english
eat grape tasty
grape want more
eat chocolate back ouch
me fat
runrunrun burn meat i need
maybe they could understand even if i talk like this way in the fact
Japanese grammar and English grammar is so different
so i have to have perfectly English brain
If I try to translate from Japanese, it would be very strange thing more
I needed to remember sentences and make the English brain
So even if I have to translate Japanese to English, it is a difficult thing for me
And I cannot do those works on the internet
I have no that skill
It was good If i could do those
Then I could have the job
I cannot translate it well really
Because I think in English when I write in English and there is no Japanese in my head when I am using English
only when i cannot find the word in english, japanese came to me and wonder how to say it in english
and search about it and input and delete japanese sentence or words from the brain
I need to learn about "have" more
It is very difficult for me to use the word "have"
I have been playing hotline miami
I am playing hotline miami since some days ago
i think both sentences would tell you I play the game for some long time or days
A point to B point
maybe
not sure..
puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
π©
Used
It is a very scary thing
If you used to get hurt
I cannot feel it bit by bit
In my heart
I can feel something stabbing me
But it is not like before
Because first thing is more hurts thing I think
But humans will be strong
Have a protection for it
Shield
But I cry suddenly
My heart is
It feels like empty
Like there is not my heart
Maybe few
Or it is very small now
Something trying hard to push the hurts from the heart
And try to not get anymore hurts on there
I cannot stand with hurts anymore
I have to protect myself from every hurts alone
im keep standing a lot today because cannot sit in the fact
i hate my meats
that leg meat
want to be thin thintihtitjtl
i will be better one for sure
need to stop eat the sweets is true
when i have hurts i can know always
its always TOOO LATE
fuckdawlwjca diot brain
understand it already
i don't want to do anything what i would regret anymore
hope i can change many things
bit by bit
i can change
i believe in myself always so strong
I am strong more than any others
I have myself
i hate my meats
that leg meat
want to be thin thintihtitjtl
i will be better one for sure
need to stop eat the sweets is true
when i have hurts i can know always
its always TOOO LATE
fuckdawlwjca diot brain
understand it already
i don't want to do anything what i would regret anymore
hope i can change many things
bit by bit
i can change
i believe in myself always so strong
I am strong more than any others
I have myself
I am not afraid to be alone
But it is all because I still have my parents
And then I will die after my parents
I will never want any who cannot give me a good care
It is same thing that I am having a dead life
So I am not afraid to be alone and just need is my person who can care of me neatly more than anybody else
Then there is the meaning to stay in this world
I don't have any meaning to stay in this world
I have nothing I want and need except the person too
I cannot enjoy anything
without my person's heart
If I cannot feel it
its meaningless to me
to have something else
games are just for killing the time
its so boring in the fact
but it helps me to focus on something
I don't have to be with anybody who cannot take care of me
Or trying to use me for something or would treat me bad
I will not be with like that human
It is much better to kill myself
There is no meaning to live in this world without my person
It is so meaningless
I hate my backache so very much
cannot move well
i hope it won't be bad tomorrow though
now i cannot care about my lonliness
i care about my backache
because it hurts
and have to worry
i should be thinner
but its not the reason maybe
not sure what happening to my back
but i am having the tomato days so
maybe it is also causing though..
i hate female body so very much
but i
oh
i see
what kind of eye balls i have now
is very dead eye balls
But it is all because I still have my parents
And then I will die after my parents
I will never want any who cannot give me a good care
It is same thing that I am having a dead life
So I am not afraid to be alone and just need is my person who can care of me neatly more than anybody else
Then there is the meaning to stay in this world
I don't have any meaning to stay in this world
I have nothing I want and need except the person too
I cannot enjoy anything
without my person's heart
If I cannot feel it
its meaningless to me
to have something else
games are just for killing the time
its so boring in the fact
but it helps me to focus on something
I don't have to be with anybody who cannot take care of me
Or trying to use me for something or would treat me bad
I will not be with like that human
It is much better to kill myself
There is no meaning to live in this world without my person
It is so meaningless
I hate my backache so very much
cannot move well
i hope it won't be bad tomorrow though
now i cannot care about my lonliness
i care about my backache
because it hurts
and have to worry
i should be thinner
but its not the reason maybe
not sure what happening to my back
but i am having the tomato days so
maybe it is also causing though..
i hate female body so very much
but i
oh
i see
what kind of eye balls i have now
is very dead eye balls
i want mom to take me with her when she would die
or its pretty irresponsible thing
that leave like this her creation on this earth and just leave me getting rotten bit by bit and die
why they made me
i didn't have to need anything first of all and suffering in this world if i was not in this world
but they didn't wish me be here too
this is just a lonely boring world for me
and pretty troublesome too
everything is troublesome
especially humans
and have to need a human is really bad for me
because i don't like them
stay with a wrong human just would make the person lonely more
because they will never give what you need and want
and cannot give
because they don't have it
it is natural them
its meaningless to expect the things from those humans
it is what i should learn
then i don't have to get hurt over and over again
i cried a lot and felt lonely
i want a person who wants this trash
nobody let me feel they want me
because me is just a trash
i understand it so very much
i don't want to hear me is not a trash or like that words from humans too
i know me is a trash and not need anybody to think me is good thing more than it too
because i just want my place
that is why i am always in like that shit places like selling myself
being stray
or just an animal in a zoo
i feel so much stress to be internet world
this world is gross to me
i want a good owner
who wouldn't make me stray never again
i want to be with the person
who would give me a lot of hughug and let me feel something in me
i feel im too empty
i have only hurts
on my body in me
it makes me just wanting die each days
i hate my body so very much
i don't have to suffer anymore if i just could die
not have to need anything in this world
what i never can have even if i want
nobody would gives me it
i have to feel lonely forever in this world i feel
my back is pretty hurts
i don't want to have this experience over and over again too
i just want to be a doll
how it feels like to be
i don't want to have a pain on my body
and not have to think anymore or worry if i could have a good owner and just be a doll like my sister
Yesterday I read the message that I randomly opened on interpals
I thought that person knowing me
Even I never talked and that person didn't out the emoji art
I was glad to read this
I felt this person know about me
But not sure what is bsm
And I don't want to be an artist or like that I think
But not sure in me even if I would say it
Since I can know only the meaning and feel me is exist just with the way what I'm doing
Even if I would want what I need from one person
That person may not give me all what I need
It is not the things
I always want is warmness and love feelings from a person's heart
It makes me happy in me that feel those
But if I cannot feel it I feel very lonely and feel anxiery
And feel me is not exist
I cannot know me
Without like that person
Because I know how me is nothing and worthless creature
And wanting something too good things to like this one
I understand it very well
But I just know what I need and want
I don't want to feel lonely and empty
Especially after the happiness
It makes me more lonelier and emptier so very much
And want to avoid the things
Because there is not all the time happiness in this world
But maybe me is like this one because I can live only on the internet world now
I don't know what it is like in the real world
But I am scared to feel coldness
It easily can hurt me and feel down
I feel sad mostly when I cannot feel care from a person
I'm not interesting or funny person
It is just armor to me
Being like a clown
But I think only me know real me
But not sure me is too moody
But I think I know me
I want kindness and warmness
And give my warmwarm to them
I'm not sure
I'm always confused and not sure what should I do
But me is too fugly
For everything
I don't want to wakeup when I could go to sleep
"bsm
and then
what you really need is to be an artist
you already have the flame but you dont know how to lead it
the one for you might be your mirror that make you see the right nature of you
thats why you need to meet him so much
and also this passion that flame inside of you light up sometimes and get cold sometimes thats means that you need something new every while to keep it lighting
if you meet someone and you might love him but you ll need more than this to keep this love burning..... you might feel cold even if this someone really loving you
so you need more than just a relationship
you need someone who loves you and at same time inspire you to find your nature
maybe you can write or draw or dance or do any kind of art
and only art can give you the chance to live many lives in one life
where you can picture anything you want
and you can dream and create your dreams in any piece of art
so dont feel scared if being moody
its your system looking for inspiration
when you feel like that
do something you love
and you ll feel satisfied
connect the all of you with the thing you love
and you ll never feel lonely
i know you need someone to see all of these things
but you ll find him only when you follow your feelings
i can see in your words that you can express your self so good
and maybe writing is one of your skills
even if its start simple
the huge rain always start with small drops
and yes dont change your self
you seems in the right way like that
and the once who told you that no one will read your long messages
they look at but they cant see the real you
so write what you feel and dont care about anyone else
express your self and let these feelings get out of you whatever they are
even if they seems weird or crazy
craziness is kind of self revolution to every formal thing around us
to bring something new and different and special
all the genius humans in history were different than the others
they acted and thought differently
for the others they were crazy
but in fact they were so special and more smart
i see these sparks of smartness in your words
i enjoyed what you wrote
its kind inspiring me to be different"
I won't reply
But I thank to this person
Read somewhat and wrote this to me
That person cheered me up with this one message
Like there is a person who can think me is not a bad creature or do a wrong thing in my life still
Because I always have to think me is bad that how I feel and how I think the things
And I have been told my thinking way is strange and feel too
So I was very sad enough
And I almost lose myself
Because I always felt 27737828 humans would tell me me is bad
But sometimes there was humans who seemed understand me or let me be real myself and they won't think it's bad or blamed
But they can be like that and tell me
Just because they never would try to close to me I think
Just like another ones story but theirs level in the fact
But still I can be glad to know
There is a chance to be accepted how me is
And the natural me
I want to be natural
But me is not 100% honest with my feeling is true
If I be honest with it i know what I would do
i feel sick
i feel lonely
i think
drug addicts are right
they just want to escape from the world
and other shits too
they are too weak shits
i want to run to like that world many times
but i still not run to there
i think i would run to the death if i have to be a drug addict or like that
i think its almost same thing
but they are trying to live in this world as a dead human
not sure if its good for them or not
i feel lonely
i think
drug addicts are right
they just want to escape from the world
and other shits too
they are too weak shits
i want to run to like that world many times
but i still not run to there
i think i would run to the death if i have to be a drug addict or like that
i think its almost same thing
but they are trying to live in this world as a dead human
not sure if its good for them or not
i thought it is a comedy or like that but it was serious one
and it reminds me about my brother and the wife
and they divorced in a year i think, or in the next year
its only 4 days ago?
maybe he is planning to make a little piece of pewdiepee kiddo and make them as youtubers too
i have pewdeeepee voice more than like her voice
such a sad news
but i don't like her voice for my ears
but maybe cute voice for the world ears
it is like a bit animation voice to me
but her voice is like when he being bitch voice in the game
maybe she actually recording?
that parts
it must be
why
why humans are so
humans are
help me
there is not interesting humans at all for me
first of all all have others and if they say
"I have only few friends, I have only few to talk to"
what the
what the
help me
tell me what it is
and what those humans saying
and what they want to do
and what they want from me
and how they are
tell me
what is that?
who they talk to?
it is what shouldn't say to someone who has 0
don't you think so
i think so
it just irritates me that why those humans would talk to me even if they have others
and not try to build the friendship with them more if those shits would call those shit friends as their friends
why not try to make it more shitty deep connection together with those shitty friends
and trying to have more
that is why they will be just a shit to me
they can keep having shits forever
and never can stop feel lonely or satisfied and would want more and more and more
that is because they always wanting a lot
I am wanting a lot from one person
then I will not need anybody else
I have no good brain for keep having many others too
how they can talk about same thing to those other humans everyday
ah i see, they won't talk each others everyday
haaaaaaaaaaaha fjkewa
what is that
and call it as friends
but there is many who can think its friends and not mind even if they are not connected everyday is true
to me
its just shit
and me is alzhimer too
so i will forget if it happened to me for sure
and think whatever shit
so i will never want someone like that humans for me
its easy to have such shitty friends i think
because just being shitty and give a shit and then that guys would throw me a shit and shit and shit shitshithsithsithishtlasjktklejaw
i don't want to do shit catch ball
not want to catch those human's shits
who wants to grab their shits?
i will just throw it on the floor
why this world is full of shits
it irritates me so very much
and not sure what i am saying now too
i am just too lonely and almost exploded and too bored too
my life is like a vomit
tomorrow is also vomit
there is nothing fun for me or happy thing
because there is not my person
i hate it so very much
so i am angry now
because i cannot understand why that person is not be with me now
and where is that person
i hate every humans
and sometimes almost hate the person too
because making me wait
and not help me
and what that person doing
maybe eating noodle now
i aslmot said bad words to the person too
i shouldn't be like that to the one
but there is not
so
okay
i won't say
x・｀)mothearkejla
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